I never liked this song. I never cared how much the doggy in the window cost. I am not a dog person. I don’t even like when the kids sing this song.
My children have wanted a dog for a long time. They have been asking for a dog since they could talk. I always said no.
They have stuffed toy dogs. I make leads for them out of ribbons. They take them for walks. I then wash said teddy dogs. They walk them. I wash them. I am fine with this level of commitment.
Then it got taken up a notch. We now have imaginary dogs. Two of them. Michael D Higgins and Queen Elizabeth. We walk these imaginary dogs. We throw sticks for them. We even pick up their imaginary poo. Its my own fault isn’t it? I should have put a stop to this dog nonsense a long time ago.
Anyway in a moment of madness over Christmas I relented a little. Maybe it was the magic of the festive season or temporary insanity brought on by overeating but my resolve weakened a bit. The smallest child is three this month. Good time to get a dog according to my husband apparently. Like the stupid fool I am, we included the children in the dog talk. Sure that was that. It seems we may be getting a dog. A real live one. I don’t know how this happened.
I found myself in a pet shop the other day admiring dog accessories. I don’t know how this happened either. As much as my husband and my children love dogs ( I caught the youngest kissing a dog on the mouth last week), I am the one who is here the most, it will be my dog, won’t it? I will have to do all the dog stuff. I don’t know how this happened, did I mention this?
I don’t know when we will get the dog or even what type. My preference would be one that is mute that comes with a catheter and a colostomy bag that self cleans but that probably isn’t possible.
I took out the my baby name list the other day to consider dog names. My husband said we need a dog name and Annabel, Rachel,Leo or Thor are not suitable dog names. Nor will I be allowed take the buggy down from the attic or buy dog clothes. So the dog isn’t even going to be my substitute fourth baby. It’s just going to be a dog. Not a fourth baby. A dog.
I don’t know how this happened.
I’m off to ring the dog shelter to put our name down for a puppy.