Think back to your childhood, what did the sight of this make you do?
Or sometimes you didn’t need to see it, just the mention of the “wooden spoon” would make you stop misbehaving or at least consider stop misbehaving when you were a child. True? I should point out I was never hit as a child, not even a tap with the wooden spoon. But it would be mentioned. My friends mother, in particular, was a big fan.
Fast forward 25-30 years to tonight. It was one of those evenings. I was tired and hungry and the house was a mess. The kids were not tired at all and making the mess. I put them to bed. They got up. I put them to bed again and went downstairs to make my dinner. All three arrived down the stairs separately and many times, like the clever well thought out triple tag team that they are, their mission on nights like this, to break me.
“I’m hungry”
“My pillow isn’t working”
” What time is it?”
“I’m thirsty”
“He is breathing my air”
“She took my book”
They just kept coming, statement, request, statement, request.
Eventually they broke me. I was cooking. I had a wooden spoon in my hand.
I ran out shaking it, straight from the ’80s. ” Do you know what this is” I shrieked waving it in the air.
All three of them were on the stairs at this stage.
“Eh yeah” was the reply
“Do you know what I am going to do with it” I shrieked
( I realise I am not covering myself in glory with the retelling of this, I was not actually going to hit them with the spoon, just to clarify, I just thought the sight of it would automatically make them rethink their actions)
“Stir us” piped up the boy
“Cook us” asked the big girl
The small girl just rolled her eyes and walked back upstairs.
They had no idea what I was implying with my scary face and the waving of the wooden spoon. I decided against explaining why they were meant to have the fear of it. Nobody likes a story of violence against children before bedtime. Obviously its great the kids have no fear of being beaten. Obviously. I mean it would’ve been handy, tonight, if they just automatically knew when the wooden spoon is mentioned, mammy means business, like we did as kids and to stop misbehaving, but they don’t. Good. Great. I can see that now, now that they are asleep and the house is quiet.
Anyway I put the spoon down, brought them to bed, they fell asleep eventually. My dinner was overcooked. The wooden spoon is in the dishwasher, I’ll just keep using it for stirring purposes only. I’ll get a reward chart or similar tomorrow probably better than threatening them with household utensils……….
My mother used to threaten us with the wooden spoon all the time! I must start waving mine around and cook/stir my kids once in a while!!
Ha ha, I had a similar incident once when I screeched “I’ll get the wooden spoon” and they all fell around the place laughing. They didn’t have a clue what I was talking about!!! Hope you got your dinner in peace…!
I may have gotten the threat, but the only pain I got with it was in my elbow. I come from a long line of wonderful cooks, and I learned quite young…used as a galley slave! I learned to make a very fluffy creamed sugar and butter,(sometimes with egg), that was the basis for most of my mother’s incredible amounts of baked good , especially for Christmas give-aways.
It is small wonder I became a professional and now write about cooking; it is a major wonder that I can stand to be in a kitchen at all.
You’ve got to give your children top marks for their replies to your threat though, three clever clogs there!
Nowadays you have to threated the kids with a flip flop…
Oh, those nights, I have been there and I have only one, how they break you!
I did laugh
but I was also feeling your anguish!
A funny post, although I know it wasn’t funny at the time (been there too) but I had a giggle at their responses, bless ‘em. In my day that spoon was our enemy; my mother was a tough cookie but with 7 kids under the age of 10 I can understand her losing her temper now and again.. sorta.
Oh and the reward charts are a brilliant idea!
Jesus, kids are HARDCORE. I will totally be running after my two with the wooden spoon. Even though I have ruined them and they have NO FEAR OF ME WHATSOEVER it is a rite of passage. In Irish families…. Who am I to deny them!!! Hope you are having an easier time of it xxx
I think that’s really, really, really awesome that your kids did not have this association — and even better than, ticked off though you were, you did not share it with them at this late stage.
love it!! I hve yet to threaten my lot with the Spoon. Mind you, I’ve threatened them with just about every other kitchen implement.