Yesterday was my 8th Halloween as a parent. I should know better. I am currently barricaded in the kitchen, hiding.
We had a lovely day yesterday, being very unorganised, I had to make a last-minute run to the over-priced supermarket to buy treats. €42 out of the weekly shopping budget on crap but it was Halloween, these things are necessary. The kids dressed up and off we went trick or treating. Their haul was large. The trick or treating took so long we missed callers to our house so €42 worth of sweets sat waiting for us upon our return along with three bags stuffed full of e numbers from their expedition around the estate.
The youngest two fell asleep early. The excitement wore them out. The eldest and I had
some many sweets and went to bed. Due to all the sugar consumption nobody slept well. The bed filled up by midnight so I left them to it and went to sleep in the youngest’s bed. Due to the interrupted sleep, I was groggy this morning, I turned off the snooze button and slept on an extra half an hour.
Mistake one: Not cleaning up last night before rolling up to bed full of chocolate and not securing the bags of chocolate and sweets in a high place.
Mistake two: Not getting up first this morning.
I came downstairs at 8am to the sounds of laughter and children speed talking. There was a trail of sweet wrappers and empty packets all over the floor. All three were lying on the couch, sweets everywhere, slightly jittery movements, eyes roaming around the room and talking fast, all at once. I backed out slowly and text the husband
“The kids are off their heads“
His jaunty reply:
” Yeah I left them on the couch, they were milling sweets“
Gas. He left them with the chocolate and skipped off to the sanctuary of work for 9 hours.
I cautiously made my way back in. Gathered up the remainder of the haul and made cereal. I left the room and when I came back the boy was dropping chocolate into his Weetabix. They couldn’t eat their breakfast. They then ran around in a circle for 40 minutes with waving their arms and roaring. The sugar is wearing off now. The comedown is not great. I am barricaded in the kitchen. I can hear them but I can’t see them. They are beginning to snarl at each other. There have been tears. I think they possibly found more crap to consume because there is the odd lull in their screaming and I think I can hear chewing. I’m not going out there. There remains about €150 worth of sweets in the house and no food for dinner. I don’t want to eat €150 worth of crap but do I want them to eat it? What will I do?
I am not coming out from the kitchen. I’m just going to sit here with the treats till the comedown passes, berating my stupidity. It’s a fundamental parenting rule: you always hide the sweets before you go to bed on Halloween night, I can’t believe I made such an amateur mistake. The punishment of the day I am about to have suits the idiocy of my crime.