I have been buying shampoo and conditioner for about twenty years now. When it comes to purchasing hair product, I am a marketeers dream. It doesn’t matter how many times I have been let down with their empty promises and bewitching descriptions in the past, hair product advertising continues to suck me in and make me believe that whatever shampoo being pimped to me will revolutionise my hair and despite years of falling for their empty promises, my spirit has not been fully crushed and I still continue to believe.
This months crushing disappointment came courtesy of Garnier Ultimate Blends shampoo and conditioner. I was practically yelping with excitement when I saw these in the supermarket…..
Silky smoother and Sleek Restorer with vanilla milk and papaya, coconut oil and cocoa butter. The bottle’s had me sold. Obviously these bad boys were going to transfer my dry frizzy hair into the hair of a super model. I opened the bottles for a sniff in the supermarket aisle, the smell of the shampoo immediately transferred me to a beautiful image where I was skipping through a meadow with my hair flowing and glistening around me, the conditioner conjured images of an amazon goddess with sleek amazing hair. This hair would soon be mine. I lovingly placed them in my trolley and somehow managed to contain my excitement for the rest of the day before finally getting the chance to wash my hair….. I did not look like a frolicking meadow girl nor an amazon goddess. My hair was clean, smelt overpowering and remained frizzy and 80’s rock band member like . Crushing disappointment once more. No wonder it was 50% off in the supermarket.
At least they didn’t cost a fortune because that crushing disappointment is a whole lot worse when you splash out on shampoo and conditioner. I have had pay day purchases of 20 euro bottles that have left me with average hair and feelings of sinking despair for spending so much and them not fulfilling their promises. The only thing worse than this is finding a really expensive shampoo and conditioner that works and forgetting to hide it.
Too many times I have forgotten to do this only to realise when my daughters come downstairs after the husband washes their hair smelling of premium hair product with the husband announcing he needed to put half a bottle of conditioner in because their hairs were so tangled………Ive have brushed their hair and simmered with rage knowing that a 20 euro bottle of my conditioner was used. I am selfish like that.
The lies from kids hair products are just as outlandish. Detangling sprays? LIES. They don’t work. “No More Tears” LIES. The only way one of my children won’t cry when getting her hair washed is if is she was sedated and you can’t do that anymore since they changed the rules on Dozal.
Despite 2o years of falling for lies and living through all the disappointment, I still persevere though on my quest, for every now and then ,I find a diamond in the rough. There was an amazing VO5 shampoo a few years ago that genuinely did make me look like I just stepped out of the salon and it was ridiculously cheap. I suspect only myself and little old ladies bought it and it was discontinued though. That was a sad day for my hair but remembering the high when I realised how good the shampoo made my hair look keeps me going through the darks days of average shampoo and conditioner emblazoned with empty promises on their bottles. The quest continues…….