School Socks

Where did you go?

Its only been four weeks since you were removed from the packet, all shiny and new.

All 15 pairs of you, so unspoiled and full of promise.

And now you have all disappeared.

You’re not in the laundry basket, you’re not stuffed down the side of the couch.

Socks, I even climbed under the beds looking for you, you weren’t there either.

I naively evenly checked the drawer you are meant to live in.

I found one of you.

Dirty, obviously.

Alone and rejected. Discarded. Lost.Questioning where it all went wrong.

Similar to how I feel after spending 45 minutes looking for you. Like a tool.

Fuck you socks.

photo (73)

About The Clothesline

30 +, Husband, three little girls, one little boy, one dog. Overdrawn, overtired, overemotional and overwhelmed most of the time.
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21 Responses to School Socks

  1. Down behind the double rad in the hall and stuffed along the cylinder in the hotpress.
    Try frightening them back, walk around the kitchen ranting, ‘it’ll be a long time before a pair of socks will come into this house again’

  2. Oh nothing goes into my hotpress. It’s full of crap we don’t use but I am afraid to throw out in case of a zombie apocalypse and there is a need for old curtains, mismatched pillowcases and electric blankets. However I am going to try your terror method now.

  3. ‘Tis the sock monster I tell ye. Lives in your dryer and takes one out of a pair of every pair of socks ye dry.

  4. My son likes to throw his whenever he takes off a sock. There is not set place where he takes his socks off either. In our house, socks could be everywhere or nowhere.

  5. Where did you have them last?

  6. tric says:

    I’d say they’re in my house. Not a pair in sight.

    • I dont mind odd socks, I have no hopes for matching pairs. Can you send them home if they are there?

      • tric says:

        Sorry they want to stay here, and are waiting for their friends to arrive.
        I have added them to the endless plastic bags of odd socks which usually stay in the utility room (awaiting possible pairing) until xmas or my mother is visiting, then they go in the bin!

  7. Aine Meehan says:

    First experience of anyone going to “big school” in our house this year, and I can relate. Currently the socks are white (more off white since the skirmish with the pinks in the washing machine), brown ones will be bought for October sometime. I had NO IDEA the uniform thing would be so stressful. OMG, I’m not terribly religious, but there have been more prayers said to St Anthony in the last month than ever before. I’m there at 7ish trying to get my own hair brushed for work, while simultaneously, looking for socks , sponging the little stain on the uniform jumper and yelling at the kids to brush their teeth, all the while cursing the fact that I watched too much netflix the night before and zombified myself. And don’t get ,me started on looking “normal” or taking normally in front of the other parents with their shiny children with perfectly french braided hair.

    • The disappointment is crushing when you realise how stupid you were to think having a daily uniform would make life easier, isn’t it?
      I have actually asked other parents how they manage to always show up every morning with clean kids with braided hair? They smile. They dont tell me how.

  8. I just can’t believe you don’t have them spend an overnight in the hot press before release back to drawers.
    Am I old fashioned?

  9. SusieChopstick says:

    I don’t put stuff into the hotpress any more either unless it comes in from the line. The dryer more than airs things. Life is too short, and my hotpress is the space under the stairs. Not even big enough for Harry Potter! On the sock issue, with the girls, tights are the only option, and all that my girls wear. On the days when they wear school trousers they wear ordinary socks.

  10. Riv says:

    There are approx 4563 socks in this house, no two are the same. I have wasted far too much time on regular missions to reunite pairs, but it usually ends with me sitting on a sock mountain in despair. Even my most concerted efforts produce no more than maybe half a dozen pairs per person in the house. Where in the name of god have all the corresponding socks gone?

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